You’ll be in my heart

Love this kid

Come stop your crying, it will be alright. Just take my hand, hold it tight.
I will protect you from all around you. I will be here, don’t you cry.

For one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us can’t be broken. I will be here, don’t you cry.

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart. Yes, you’ll be in my heart.
From this day on, now and forever more.
You’ll be in my heart, no matter what they say.
You’ll be here in my heart, always.

A couple weeks back, I was listening to a Disney playlist with my little Sweetpea and this song from Tarzan came on. My sister and I used to listen to the soundtrack all the time and belt out the words to the songs, but we never really thought about what this song meant. Hearing it this time, however, immediately brought tears to my eyes. The song is a love song from a mother to her adopted child and it so perfectly reflects the feelings that I have as a foster mother.

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart. Yes, you’ll be in my heart.

It’s been almost two weeks since Sweetpea’s adoptive family arrived in Taiwan and we started her transition into their family. The first week was a roller coaster of emotions for Sara and me. On Sunday, we welcomed Sweetpea’s adoptive family into our home and watched as they started to play with her, read books to her, and share new toys with her. She immediately recognized them and started saying their names (siblings included).

As the week progressed, she spent more and more time with her family. On Friday we moved the rest her things over to their house and she started sleeping there. As I walked out of my home with her, I told her to say ‘bye bye’ to the familiar things. My heart was very heavy leaving with her because I knew she would never see this place again. Our home would never be filled with her giggles, we would never sit and watch Elmo together on our couch, I would never walk around with a little shadow following me everywhere, and we would never snuggle in the recliner just before bed. I knew I would be able to see her again, but my house would never feel the same.

Throughout the week, different people would say things like, “Leah’s not with you, is she spending time with her family?’ or “it was weird seeing you girls walking home without Leah.” I took no offense to those comments but it always brought a fresh set of tears because life as I had known it for the last year had changed so suddenly. I am so thankful to Sweetpea’s adoptive parents who, after we mentioned that we felt Sweetpea was ready to make the full transition, said, “But are YOU girls ready?” Wow. They have put aside their own desires to first agree to a slow transition for their child and now they are wanting to make sure that Sara and I are okay? Who does that? A family who is very special.

Since Sweetpea has moved into their home, Sara and I are seeing her less and less. Is it hard for us? Yes. Is it what is right for Leah? Yes. We have been able to see her interact with her family and slowly become the younger sister she was always meant to be. She is doing extremely well and is quickly bonding with all the members of her family. She still says, “sha-she” when she sees me and “ra-ra” when she sees Sara but she knows that Mommy and Daddy are there for her too.

I know the grieving process for Sara and me will continue and some days will be harder than others. We just have to continue on and think about how well our little girl is doing with her forever family. Our house won’t ever be the same and, honestly, Sara and I won’t ever be the same because of that spunky little girl. She has changed our lives and will always be in our hearts.

❤ You’ll be here in my heart, always. ❤

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One response to “You’ll be in my heart

  1. What godly women you and your sister are. We are so very thankful for sharing your lives with Leah and teaching her about love by showing her how to love. Our family will be forever grateful for your unselfish devotion to Leah – knowing this would end one day. You lived out God’s Word – “caring for the orphans, this is pure religion.” I hope we can meet one day but always know what a blessing you have been to not just Todd and Angela but to her whole extended family.

    Angela’s mom

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